Letting go of my food-family connection

My emotional eating started exactly 25 years ago. I was 14 years old. 

Like every child, I needed my parents’ love to grow up loving myself. I was validated on every aspect of my life including my looks until I gained weight. I gained weight because I was eating more granted, I was lonely after we moved to another country but I never noticed that. It’s only when it was pointed out to me by my family that I became self-conscious.

That’ s the moment when I enter the cycle of dieting, emotional eating, binging.

Because they were criticising my looks, I was also thinking the same: I am worthless, I won’t be loved and respected unless I lose weight immediately. 
Fad diets are your best friend in that moment. 

“Just eat 500/800 calories or better yet, don’t eat at all ” is what I thought. Of course that backfired big time.

Within 2 weeks I was binging, emotionally eating like crazy in secrecy, hiding wraps of food in my room. I felt worse about myself. Could it be that all my effort just went away?

I grew up thinking that everyone was commenting on the size of my body, they weren’t though. I was in my own head and saw the world through my own fears and projections. It was limiting me with friendships and having proper emotional connections.

I turned to food for comfort in those times and food became my sole companion. I was craving love and acceptance from my environment. I got it from food though.

I loved my rituals, my binges, my highs but the moment it was done, I hated myself. Talk about a complicated relationship with food.

I did besides my own education lots of therapy to heal my relationship with food and rebuild the one lost with my family.

Here is what I have learned:

1. My parents did the best they could with the tools they had. I spoke to them about all of the trauma I was holding on to. They had no idea what they had told me, how it affected me. I should have spoken to them earlier.

2. I refused to label myself as a binge eater. I told myself I have binge eating tendencies when things get tough. Some people smoke, I eat.

3. My value is not determined by my size apparently and neither is my body image. I was a size XXS and a size XL and I had bad body image days in both cases.

4. My feelings are validated and I need to accept that I can’t run away from them because they always come back. Might as well deal with them than eat them:)

I haven’t binged for over 12 years now. I eat a variety of foods and I enjoy all of the foods without guilt. I am at peace. I have been through some many body acceptance phases that I can count, but finally again I am at peace with my body as well.

I knew being a psychologist specialised in emotional and bing eating that I want to help people get the results faster. I took the long road but you don’t have to.

Your first step is to book a call, free of charge! How cool is that?

Don’t let another year pass by without working on your health. it gets more difficult the more we postpone the inevitable.

BOOK YOUR FREE CALL and you can already start implementing tips on how to end emotional and binge eating now!